My Heart

Dear Diary,

I… I sometime… I am at loss of words. My mind is filled with Annimae, as she runs around in my head. I can’t stop thinking about her. She… She is just the best person ever. She has done so much for me… That sometimes I feel what I do for her is not enough. She knows me better than I know myself at times. She knows when I am down, when I am happy, when…. Hehe… When I want to pounce on her… But… She listens to my heart. She truly is my soulmate.

I love her so much, and I just want to keep showing her how much I love her as I support her in everything she wants and does. Her happiness is my goal… My desire. I love her so much.

-A Kitten in Love❤

The Feelings Within Pt. 2

Upon returning from my trips, my training sessions, I feel like an outsider coming back to an new environment. Like something was missing to this world… And it is me.

I hear stories, and things that I missed. I laugh, smile, and,enjoy the catching up. I hear about what happened and what did I miss.

But then… That dreaded feeling comes back… The feeling of the previous chapter not connecting to the one I am on. I feel a bit lost, confused, and scared…

I dread this feeling, I do not like it, but it is always there… Looming its dark and evil head around each corner. It hides and waits for it to see that I am not paying attention, then it attacks.

The feelings within are always going to be there, always going to haunt me. But I recently found I have more power… More power than the darkness leads me to believe.

I have the power of love.

I found it useful and noticing how it can make those dark feelings go away… Just for a little while at least.

I will continue to fight these feelings, each time I leave and when I come back, but I now, know what connects the chapters together… And that is love.

The feelings within… My heart will keep me moving forward, and not giving up.

I love her…

-Psyiah Nalani

1 Year Anniversary

It is amazing how one year passes by so quickly. So much has happened, so much is yet to come. Taking time to reflect on what has happened is important, to see how far one has come, how many adventures have passed and how much is yet to be explored.

When I first met Annimae, it was just be curiosity. She was a cute and flirtatious girl just eager to meet new people. I saw some of her pictures and just felt the need to comment on them. They stood out to me on her taking her time to pose, and get the picture just right. I felt a bit envious of her skill. So, I said something.

She then whispered me on a private message and it gave me butterflies. It was so odd, just some new girl I met, I didn’t really know anything about, yet… I was so nervous around her. She teased me, but I held back and denied her flirty advances. I blushed and just felt so flattered that she enjoyed… well me!

After sometime and some gray area not worth mentioning… I found myself unable to stop thinking about her. We kept talking and met up here and there. Although the meet ups where not really to talk, hehehe. Ugh… I am getting butterflies just thinking this! Hehe! So eventually I decided to move to her realm as I found myself lost and… frankly the attention was nice. She was sweet, but yet to helpful too. As soon I arrived, she helped get an apartment for me! I hung out at her place, and gods she was so beautiful. I could not keep my eyes off of her, but we ended the night just talking.

Days turned into weeks and I could not stop thinking about her. My days where lost… just day dreaming about my new friend. I finally ended up having her over at my apartment. And she snuggled with me. Oh gods.. It was so.. I was such a nervous wreck! Eventually she had to go, as some things prevented her from going forward, and I respected that. I didn’t want to cause issues that where brewing in the background.

Every day I thought about her, just fantasizing about her. She could not get out of my head. Eventually, our friendship took a new turn. I wanted her, but could not have her… until one day she came to me, brokenhearted and sad. I comforted her and placed her feelings above my own. I needed to be there for her, I needed to make sure she knew that I would always be her support.

From there, things moved forward and I proposed to her. It was a special night, and I was beyond nervous, I mean she had been my girlfriend for a while now and I wanted her to make sure she knew that I loved her so much, that I wanted to be bonded with her. She said yes, and that day was the happiest day of my life, and won’t ever forget it. December 9th.

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Then, came the day I have been waiting for since I proposed to her… our wedding, January 20th. I married my best friend. I married my lover, I married someone who would always have my back, my best interest, my support, my love, my dedication, and a girl who just loves me for who I am, a silly playful kitten. My heart pounds just writing this, it pounds of the reminder of her love, of the feeling I felt at that alter.. saying those words I will never forget, never question, never hesitate to say again, and again…

I do.

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I sit there, thinking how one year has passed since that day, and I can’t help by cry in joy. Cry how this wonderful life I have with her, is real. It is not fake, not some fling.. not some habit.. but oh so real… I love her, I love her so much beyond anything I can even write on here. My life with her has been a dream come true. True happiness that I can’t ever begin to express without crying and saying the words that I will never take for granted…

I love you Annimae Nalani.. now, forever, and always.

 

-Your wife

Nightmare

I woke up, suddenly, in the middle of the night last night. I had a nightmare. I was dreaming that Psyiah was leaving me. She had packed her bags and was walking out the door. I called to her but she just kept walking. I cried to her, begging her not to leave me but she never looked back.

I woke up to see her still sleeping beside me. She was purring in her sleep and was drooling a little. My dream scared me. I can’t live without my kitten. She means everything to me. I know she would never leave me but my dream was a reminder to always treat her right and love her with all the love I have.