Dear Diary,
Gosh that sounds silly… hehe well anyway. I am just typing away, just letting me feeling bleed in this blog.
So where to begin…?
This weekend I found myself in a situation that I felt uncomfortable. I was asked to join in on a Trial. Now, you might be asking… “why are you not comfortable?” Well, under that pressure and with the initial complications I get intimidated… and easily overwhelmed. But… I can’t stop thinking about it. Not because how we almost got won it, but how I felt after. I felt defeated and as if I let down everyone, or was a burden…
You know that saying “stick and stones may break,my bones, but words will never hurt me”? Well that is a lie. Words can do so much more. In fact, words can uplift someone when they lack confidence. They can cheer up someone when they feel down or sad. They can make someone laugh with a joke or just be being silly. And they can feel loved, oh so loved as someone expresses their devotion to you.
That is the feeling I felt after. Loved. I was told by my wife and my friend that I can do it, that I did great, and it might not have meant a lot then, but the reality is that it does then and it still does now.
I ran as a tank in a dungeon last night and my wife told me two things: 1st- that she gets turned on me being in front, defending her and 2nd- that she proud of me pushing myself to endure challenges, pushing my limit and learning to slow down time and know what to do while under pressure. The confidence boost that gave me is incredible. I mean sure, I love making her excited, but the sheer fact that she wants to see me get better, be better, and do better warms my heart.
I have picked up books to learn white magic, to learn black magic, archery, Ninjitsu, Bushido, and many more. I was told I am a “jack of all trades, master on none”, but I disagree with that. I think I am a master at oe thing… supporting my wife and friends.
I love them very much and they have been a blessing in my life… putting up with my antics, my flurry of emotions, my fickleness, and my love for a lot jobs, hehe.
I am a very lucky girl to have this much support and love.
-Psyiah
The Nalanis 